Diary of Madhuri Chabukswar

HIGGEST BID

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 13:24:17 +0530

One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on an
exotic parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding.
He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and
higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid. The
price was high but the fine bird was finally his!

As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure hope
this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find
out that he can't talk!"

"Don't worry," said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you
think kept bidding against you?

Mountain Story

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 13:21:22 +0530

"A son and his father
were walking on the mountains.

Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams:
"AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain:
"AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

Curious, he yells: "Who are you?"

He receives the answer: "Who are you?"

And then he screams to the mountain: "I admire you!"

The voice answers: "I admire you!"

Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!"

He receives the answer: "Coward!"

He looks to his father and asks: "What's going on?"

The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention."

Again the man screams: "You are a champion!"

The voice answers: "You are a champion!"

The boy is surprised, but does not understand.

Then the father explains: "People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE.

It gives you back everything you say or do.

Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.

If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart.

If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.

This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life;

Life will give you back everything you have given to it."

YOUR LIFE IS NOT A
COINCIDENCE. IT'S A REFLECTION OF YOU!"

DISORDERS OF COURT

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 13:49:56 +0530

These are things people actually said in court, word for word,
taken down and now
published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these
exchanges were actually taking place.

Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July fifteenth.

Q: What year?

A: Every year.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up

that morning?

A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.

DISORDERS OF COURT

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 13:46:34 +0530

MEN

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 12:47:24 +0530

Q: What is the
difference between men and puppies?

A:
Puppies grow up.

Q: Why do men always
have a stupid look on their faces?

A:
Because they are...

Q: What do men have in
common with ceramic tiles?

A:
Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.

Q: If you drop a man
and a brick out of a plane, which one would

hit
the ground first?

A:
Who cares?????.....

Q: What did God say
after he created man?

A:
I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.

Q: What's the difference
between an intelligent man & a UFO ?

A:
I don't know, I've never seen either.

Q: What are two
reasons why men don't mind their own business?

A:
i) no mind ii) no business

Q:
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

A:
The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no

intention of driving.

Q: What do you do with a man who
thinks he's God's gift?

A:
Exchange him!!

Q: Why
do men like smart women?

A: Opposites
attract.

Pass
this on to some women who need a laugh..

and to men who can handle it! !

Perfect Boss . . .

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 15:55:20 +0530

There
were about 70 scientists working on a very hectic project. All of them were really frustrated due to the
pressure of work and the demands of their boss but everyone was loyal to him and did not think of
quitting the job.

One
day, one scientist came to his boss and told him - Sir, I have promised to my children that I will take them to
the exhibition going on in our township. So I want to leave the office at 5 30 pm.

His
boss replied "OK, You're permitted to leave the office early today"

The
Scientist started working. He continued his work after lunch. As usual he got involved to such an extent that
he looked at his watch when he felt he was close to completion. The time was 8.30 PM. Suddenly he
remembered of the promise he had given to his
children.

He
looked for his boss, He was not there. Having told him in the morning itself, he closed everything and left
for home.

Deep
within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his Children .He reached home. Children were
not there. His wife alone was sitting in the hall and reading magazines.

The
situation was explosive, any talk would boomerang on him. His wife asked him "Would you like to have
coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner if you are hungry.

The man replied "If you would like to have coffee, i too
will have but what about Children ??"

Wife
replied "You don't know ?? Your manager came here at 5.15 PM and has taken the children to the exhibition
"

What
had really happened was ... The boss who granted him permission was observing him working seriously at 5.00
PM. He thought to himself, this person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his
children they

should
enjoy the visit to exhibition. So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition The boss does
not have to do it every time. But once it is done, loyalty is established.

That
is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss

Even though the stress was
tremendous.

By the way , can you hazard
a guess as to who the boss was..?

He was none other than Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, President of India
.. . .

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 19:47:43 +0530

HEY FRIENDS
EVERY ONE IS WISHING THE FRIEND SHIP DAY BUT I WILL NOT
YOU ALL ARE MY FRIENDS FOR ETERNITY SO WHY ONLY ONE DAY?
I WOULD BE LOST WITHOUT FRIENDS.
THIS POST IS DATED FOR EVER.
TAKE CARE GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

THINK AOUT THIS!!!!!!!!

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 18:29:01 +0530

1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!

Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person
is like

expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian.

Think about it.

3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes
we wear,

but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

4. Don't walk as if you rule the world,

walk as if you don't care who rules the world!

That's called Attitude.! Keep on rocking!

5. Every lady hopes

that her daughter will marry a better man than she did

and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father
did!!!

6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no affair.

When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.

They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?

He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the
Crocodiles!

8. So many options for suicide:

Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,

jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow BUT sure!

9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

10. All desirable things in life are either

illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

11. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru

We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi

Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di???

12. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.

Which makes it a logical statement that

90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!

GHOSTS A VERY TRUE STORY

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 18:05:17 +0530

GHOST

If you know some one staying in Pune let them know this. If you are

in Pune, do go through this story COZ, its a real one. Read this true

story...and let everybody you know in and around Pune especially University

Road..........

My friend lives in Deccan ... One day he went
to University Road
to visit his uncle for some days as his parents had to attend a wedding in
Lonavla.

One evening he and some other of my college friends went to Adlabs for a

movie.

He had so much fun that he forgot that it's very late. He caught the last PMT
to University Road
...... he reached University Road
around midnight.... ... He had to walk about a mile from the bus stop to
home.... As he was walking alone, he could sense that the night felt very

creepy as it was so dark. While walking, he was astonished to see an old weird-looking
guy selling some books. It was a very unusual thing to see a thing like
that.....

It got the shivers ! on him when he noticed that his old guy was unusually pale
and staring at him.... The old guy said "Son why don't you buy a book...it
would keep you company".

Then my friend did something which he would regret for the rest of his

life. My friend started to act brave & thought why not & had a look at his

collections. ..

My friend's hair started to stand on end as he noticed that all the books

were related to supernatural activities.. .but he found one that was very

interesting.

So he asked the old man "how much is it, uncle?"

The old guy replied, "Well son...this is an interesting book...it's only for
Rs 250.

My friend was shocked and said "but...but... it's expensive"

This time the old man stared which freaked my friend. My friend did not want to
cross this scary old man, so he quickly checked all his pockets & found
Rs.200 & said "This is all I have." The old guy replied
"It's OK son... you can have the book for that price"

As my friend was just about to run for home....the old man called back &

said "Son ... whatever happens, don't ever flip the book to it's last page...

remember these words or you will regret...!!! !!"

My friend nodded and never looked back ... Reaching home...he quickly

asked his Uncle whether there was any new old book seller nearby?

The Uncle replied " I haven't seen him but ....we've heard that there's 1

old man who comes once in a while during full moon nights but heard

that there is something creepy about it...why son?"

My friend freaked out... he told his uncle "nothing uncle... just asking".

He started reading the book with the old man's parting words on his

mind. .At night, 2 o'clock, as he went to bed, a gush of wind blew which

chilled him up to his bones. At that
point, he noticed the wind had

blown the pages to its last page. He remembered what the old man has

said! But we humans tend to have the tendency to know.. Out of curiosity, he

flipped to the last page & fainted... What he saw at the last page is
stated below:

Don't look further down if you have a weak heart

I warn you

...

....

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

....

...

....

....

....

....

...

...

...

....

...

...

Original price:-- Rs. 20/-

Promotion price:-- Rs. 10/-
***** ********* ****

he he he he hhe hhe

LST US SEE WHOS WHO?

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 15:48:09 +0530

MIND GAME

2% or 98%

This is
strange....can you figure it out?

Are you the 2%
or 98% of the population?

Follow the
instructions! NO PEEKING AHEAD!

� Do the
following exercise, guaranteed to raise an eyebrow.

� There's no
trick or surprise.

� Just follow these
instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can!

� Again, as
quickly as you can but don't advance until you've done each of them ...
really.

� Now, scroll
down (but not too fast, you might miss something.) Ready with a pen and paper so write your answers.

Think of a
number from 1 to 10

Multiply that
number by 9

If the number
is a 2-digit number, add the digits together

Now subtract 5

Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you
ended up with (example:
1=a, 2=b, 3=c,etc.)

Think of a country that starts with that letter.

Remember the last letter of the name of that country.

Think of the name of an
animal that starts with that letter.

Remember the last letter in the name of that animal.

Think of the name of a fruit that starts with that letter.

Are you thinking of a Kangaroo in Denmark eating an Orange?

I told you this
was FREAKY!! If not, you're among the 2% of the population whose minds
are different enough to think of something else. 98% of people will answer with
kangaroos in Denmark
when given this exercise.

Keep
this message going. This one is actually worth sending on to
others. Forward it to people you know so they can find out if they are
usual or unusual.